Misses Glass Run

11.11.09

我是黄伟栩

虚假的面貌、戴不上的面罩,我始终掩饰不了。
我,身分变了吗?

原来的期待、我原来的期望,原来都是些奢望。
人不是善变,是不切实际。

圆不了的梦、做不到的那个我,不是我,死了吗?
死亡不是终结,是新开始。

我,准备好了吗?
我的使命,找到了吗?

太多的问题、太多的思绪,全都是人类的所造。
不想想太多,这样的想法,其实也算是个烦恼。

始终不变的,不是我。
是黄伟栩。

人如其名
-听起来好刺耳。

I just wanna be happy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxbxE4glGIw

I added the words in italics. ;)
Happy -Lyrics

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose, you can’t have everything
Don’t you take chances, you might feel the pain
Don’t you love in vain; cuz Love won’t set you free (study will...)

I could stand by the side
Watch this life pass me by
So unhappy, but safe as could be (with my family...)

So what if it hurts me
So what if I break down
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
And my feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I’m just trying to be
HAPPY (Just wanna be Happy)

Holding on tightly, just can’t let it go (JC life)
Just trying to play my roll, slowly disappear
And all these days they feel like they’re the same
Just different faces, different names
Get me out of here (TJ, PW...)

I could stand by the side
Watch this life pass me by
Pass me by

So what if it hurts me
So what if I break down
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
And my feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I’m just trying to be
HAPPY (Just wanna be Happy) (Be myself!)

So many turns that I can’t See
Like I’m a stranger on this road
Don’t say Victim, don’t Say Anything (don't victimize yourself...)

So what if it hurts me
So what if I break down
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
And my feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I’m just trying to be
HAPPY (Just wanna be Happy)

31.10.09

为什么?

为什么事情往往都会复杂化?为什么你要告诉我?为什么我必须知道?

我承受不了了。很想吐。原来我好无知。天啊。完了。这些个友谊已经毁了。

友谊和爱情的界限到底在哪里?为什么你们可以假装什么都没有发生?

我已经在向你们发展过的程度,及其恶心。我不想再想象下去了但是我却无法停止自己的思绪。

我无法回到我们的友谊圈子里了。

你们本来就是我最亲的朋友。现在我突然觉得我们好遥远。我什么会这样?为什么为什么?

我无法承受。


我不能戴上面具。我没有你们那种能力。真的很想叫你们去死。到底还有多少是我不晓得的?我很不舒服。XXX你对了,我不了解你。你非常恐怖。你的ex也让我感到意外。怎么就这样告诉我你们的关系?好像什么也没发生一样,你知不知道我会承受不了?

或许你是故意的?或许你已经不想再维持这段友谊了。我虚拟厌倦了这个圈子?但是这样做很残忍。

我。
垮。
了。


去。
死。
吧。

18.10.09

zmoob

I don't understand why so many Singaporeans are criticising Ris Low for speaking English like many of us. What's wrong with Singaporeans?

Do they even know why SMRT's courtesy campaign for trains and buses features PCK Pte Ltd with bubbles of Singlish? Because generally speaking, Singlish is accepted as our common language! Like duh!

I think that the whole Ris Low incident is the product of the beauty pageant organiser (loh!). They chose Ris Low! So they are to be blamed for this. And they should not have discouraged Ris Low from participating in Miss World! If Ris Low persisted in participating it, at least our beauty queen can show Singaporeans' 'never say die' or 'can do' spirit which the government promoted!

And we should all give Ris Low some applause for her courage and determination. Don't forget that she is only 19 and she has to face criticisms from people all around Singapore!

I guess being Singaporeans, our level of acceptance or tolerance is just not there yet. Sigh. If we were to be a global city, we should at least learn from developed countries like Netherlands, where there is a high level of social tolerance.

Majulah!!!!!!!

23.8.09

漩渦

最近都在听孙燕姿的逆光专辑里的歌,重复地播放,让我有点情绪化。现在正在我家黑暗的客厅大字,左前方坐着我姐的伊朗男友。你可相信他们在我回家猛按门铃之前在房间里互相拥婴儿油按摩,好饿。然后我又声明无论他们有什么行为只要产下一个混血儿就ok了。

谢谢wise1请我看The Proposal(真的很好笑)和把一本MFA Scholarship 的册本拿给我,我真的重新发现了我读书的目标。It is totally within my reach if i put in 110% of my efforts. 我决定要为我的将来而努力,所以今天起我会每天向你们报告我读书的进展。

漩渦-孙燕姿

作词:小寒
作曲:李偲菘

总装着很有把握
不准爱渗入生活
才发现闯了祸
让你当真以为我的心上了锁
让你绝望地走
成全独立的我
好想捂朵
不想不看不想听谁说
好想蹲在角落
把谴责的眼光都躲过

像个黑色漩涡
将我吞没
悔恨已逃不脱

我承认这都是我
感情事处理得不妥
从不说
我爱你
那么多

原来人可能脆弱
爱让我很难振作
我坐在最前座
人生第一次面对什么叫落寞
经历你这一走
最大傻瓜是我

我不要谁好心帮我
每个人像在隔岸观火
看我犯错
提醒我说
都是我的错
提醒我说
逼你离开我

就算同情是条绳索
我也没办法伸出双手
拯救自己(除了你)
除非是你(拯救我)
肯回头(为了我)
扭转这个结果

10.8.09

humans complicate matters.

since last week, i had planned to watch 18 grams of love on OKTO after missing so many good films!
And I watched it! And i feel fortunate to have watched it! the setting was superb in simplcity. i give one hundered thumbs up!!!!

I shant explain the story but i shall tell you the message it brings out.

humans complicate things. 有时候我们想太多了。想太多不是因为我们细心或关心他人。而相反的,是因为我们过于漠不关心我们身边的人。人是会变的,而往往这会对感情造成负面的影响。当我们变成一个不像自己的人时,自己察觉不到,旁边的人则会感受得到。This is deviation. And it enlarges by greater extent through the passage of time. We shouldn't change because of others, for example our lovers. Because your lover loves you as who you are, not who you will become. This isn't accomodation, this is alienation.

有时候人们应该停下脚步,不要莫过于追求我们的目标。休息一下,了解自己的变化,是否让身边的人疏远了?回到过去,回到最简单的自己,其实没有人逼你离开单纯朴实的生活。是谁呢?问问自己的心。

19.3.09

March Holy Days Update!

昨天和久违了的同胞们见面,感觉就像联合国聚会,我们全来自不同学校。
去蔡厝港之前有人问我是不是去见中学朋友我说是小学朋友,让她吃了一惊。
这也是为什么我那么珍惜我们的友谊,因为得来不易!

这三个朋友当中我先与dy碰面,第一次是在SJI对面的车站,第二次是在plaza,他要去NTUC。之后我们就有几次一起到图书馆读书(讲话),还被一位uncle骂。

然后我们就找hy一次读书,我发现hy跟我一样无聊和random(翻译:脑子会胡思乱想然后会突然说一些奇怪的话的症状)。所以我们就是same frequency(同样的频率),很快地就变成朋友了。

之后呢为了主办6J BBQ我们又找上了pj,发现她也很"放",所以也是同样的frequency,从此我们就形成了一群神经不正常的primary school friends。


前天和ehsan见面,有点羡慕他的Cheena校长……我也要一个Cheena的校长!!!

那天的我完全是random的,讲了一大堆废话来让自己笑……
Ehsan也是我的小学朋友,我们有一段时间没有来往,是后来的我使出random的招数才拉近了我们的距离,所以我也很珍惜我们的友谊。

说起来,我的randomness(随机性)是非常有用的社交工具。哈哈哈哈哈!

15.3.09

Live life the way you want it!

After taking my dose of Ugly Betty, I'm inspired to LIVE LIFE THE WAY I WANT IT!!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOO!!!

The long awaited march holiday has finally arrived!! Well yesterday was so fun! I will miss the G3 outing.

Well, we went to watch a church group play at Orchard and then we went to Marina Square and bought some coffee and tea. Then we went back to Dhoby Ghaut and bought 3fluorescent yellow shoe laces and put them on in KFC! The shoe laces sort of glowed in the dark! Hahaha.

We eneded the day with a light meal at a restaurant with no service charge!!! Hahaha then we took some photos and went home.

Ok, I'm going to live life the way I want it! I am going to school tomorrow for economics lecture and e club meeting then I shall meet Ehsan and exchange notes!!!

28.2.09

My Chinese Identity

I have just watched the movie The Joy Luck Club, which was based on Amy Tan's novel which I have read two years ago.

Guess what! It is just as touching as the original novel!

Background information: Joy Luck Club is the story of 4 Mothers (who formed Joy Luck Club which is a club which plays mahjong and dine together as a form of meeting) and their daughters whom they gave birth to in US after they left their hardships China, who also faced similar hardships in their lives.

Below are lines I took from two scenes.

1st Scene

"I tell you the story because I was raised the Chinese way. I was taught to desire nothing, to swallow other people's misery and to eat my own bitterness. And even though I taught my daughter the opposite, but still, she came out the same way."


2nd Scene

Daughter: I'm just sorry that you got stucked with such a loser, that I've always been so disappointing.

Mother: What you mean disappoint? Piano?

Daughter: Everything, my grade, my job, not getting married, everything you expected of me.

Mother: Not expect anything, never expect, only hope. Only hoping best for you. This not wrong to hope.

Daughter: No, well it hurts. Because everytime you hope for something I couldn't deliver it hurt. It hurt me mummy. And no matter what you hoped for, I'll never be more than what I really am. And you never see that, what I really am.

Mother: I see you. That bad crab, only you tried to take it. Everybody else want best quality. You, you thinking different. When everyone took best quality crab, you took worst. Because you have best quality heart. You have style, no one can teach. Must be born that way. I see you.



The very last scene was the most moving one, it was when the daughter from the 2nd scene above met her dead mother's lost twin daughters in China. It was the hope mentioned in the second scene that was passed on to her daughter from her lost twin daughters in China. The hope was symbolized by a swan feather which was presented from the very first scene.

(To be continued...)

栩仔

生产日期:120692
产 地:新加坡
作 用:学生
副 作 用:栩轩塔主、补习老师
过 敏:Leona Lewis、ABBA、Ugly Betty、Amy Tan